Dear World (or whoever is reading this),
As I sit here writing to you, the tears begin to cloud my vision and thoughts. An overwhelming sense of failure sets in. It feels like my whole life I have been fighting a battle of competency. Fighting like hell to be heard, and finally prove my worth. To at last be given a chance to show the world, I have so much more to offer and for that message to be truly received.
For so long I have been “waiting in the wings” for my moment. To be seen as competent and intelligent. To feel as if people want to hear what I have to say. Of course, family and friends can make me and anyone feel this way. However, I cannot help but wonder how much of that is actually true or framed by the rose colored glasses of their love. Perhaps, it is a mix of both. Does it really matter, though? I should be thankful to have people in my corner who do believe in me for better or for worse.
I wish I had that unrelenting belief in myself, but alas, here I am. The truth is I don’t always have that confidence that I am worthy and competent. But then I guess, who does? (If you do, please let me in on your secret, you magical person.) We all have our range of emotions that lift us up on our best days and let us know when we are at an emotional overload. As author John Green once said, “Pain demands to be felt”. I want to take that one step further, “Emotions demand to be felt”. When we repress them, we lessen our chances of rising above and moving on. It is the same thought as, the only way out is through. I am not going to tell you it is all sunshine and rainbows. What I can tell you is that it will be worth it.
As I sit here, whining about being seen or heard, I find it interesting this post comes out during the Pride month. Talk about a community that has never given up on fighting to be heard, seen, accepted. We can learn so much from our LGBTQIA+ friends. Did they deserve to have to fight for their rights? Heck no, but they did and look how far they have come. That can be said for many minority groups who have shown us that we don’t have to be complacent with the way things are. We have the power to stand up for ourselves and say no, we deserve better. Now, I am not comparing my journey to the journey’s of minority groups in the slightest, but I do think we can all learn valuable lessons from them.
I don’t want to live in a world where cutting others down, to make someone else feel inflated is okay. I’m over the bullies, bigots, and what have you. It’s enough. What gives you the right to bring me or anyone else down? NOTHING. Just as I do not have that right, neither do you. STAND UP for your beliefs. When you feel like you’ve hit a wall, keep pushing through. Let your fellow fighters help lift you back up and continue to fight like hell. Look at the difference it has already made. Can you imagine what change can be made for future generations?