To The Fair Weathered

You are only on one side – your own. Unfortunately, we are not true friends. I’m not sure we ever were. If you genuinely believe we were, then you may want to do some research on friendship. It is a two-way street, but you thought it was a one-way. A friend does not endlessly talk about themselves without asking how the other person is. A friend doesn’t hold a grudge but instead gives grace.

Even though I was your call when things got bad, it does not mean you were mine. A friend does not leave you when you need them most. They don’t turn their nose up at you or the things you do or say. Instead, they embrace you for who you are. That was never something you could do, and it was not fair for me to expect that of you.

You were never a friend but instead a disappointing waste of time. I feel nothing other than pity when I hear your name. You’ve only ever taken from me just like a thief. You’ve stolen my time and wisdom without anything in return. How is that fair? It is not.

Now it is time to go our separate ways. I am moving on to a new stage of life that you couldn’t possibly understand. I have to put myself and my family first, and you are no longer a priority, and you never will be again. It is time for you to grow up and stop putting your baggage on others. That’s not what friends are for. Dionne Warwick said it best “For good times and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more. That’s what friends are for….

When Is Enough Truly Enough?

It is incredible how everyone is ready to change the world, but people cannot run faster when transforming themselves. Growth never seems to go from comfort or complacency. Change does not usually start with a large group but with one person. Then that person builds a group of like-minded people to help raise awareness. Mental health is an excellent example of this. Typically mental health is addressed after something terrible has happened. That said, it should not take this many overdoses, shootings, and suicides to get the world’s attention, yet here we are. The scariest part is that the world may be becoming numb to it all. These deaths happen so frequently that part of me wonders if the world is getting conditioned to it. According to the Oxford, Dictionary, conditioning is “the process of training or accustoming a person or animal to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances.” We should not only be terrified by that but also disgusted.

This stigma of mental health will not be broken by only doing things before a horrible occurrence. We must be proactive. Please don’t act like ignoring or arguing about this will do any good. The problem will continue without a result. Some things are not subjective, like a person’s right to live a happy life.

There is too much going on in the world. It becomes overwhelming, and the cries for help fade into the background. This overwhelming feeling is what helps create silos. What will it take to break the silos that keep us apart? We must stop digging our holes and begin to dig tunnels to connect to one big whole to fill together. It is about paying attention to someone other than yourself. Can you imagine if we really did put others before ourselves?

Hopefully, people would see others and begin to hear the cries for help. Then these cries could be answered. It never ceases to amaze me how selfish our world is. Yes, it has improved in the past, but we have a long way to go. There is much work to be done. However, we can never get to that work if we are all broken. There must be a time of healing when people realize that forgiveness & connection have always been the answer. We were never meant to war, fight, and kill one another, but that is when the love of power is greater than the power of love. Power is a tricky thing that should be earned, not freely given. You are not the power or the law. You just help guide it. If power were a wand, you would be the wizard. However, the wand contains all the magic, not you. Be fair, and let’s get to the actual work and stop mincing words. 

If this article scares or upsets you, I am sorry, but I, too, am scared and upset at our world for not stepping up and doing more. There never seem to be enough resources or people to help because too many causes are trying to do the same thing. It is not a political debate; someone ending their own or someone else’s life is never okay. Period. When will we decide to come together and work for the common good? We can do better. We must do better.

Life’s Roadmap

“Then as it was, then again it will be
And though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea.” – Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone

If your life were on a map, the road would not be linear. Yet humans are continuously surprised when life takes an unexpected turn. Your plan’s flipped on its head, and everything you worked towards feels for naught. However, did you consider the possibility that your plan was too small and you are capable of things that you didn’t even know were possible? What if we stopped planning? What if we just let life happen and see how it plays out?

The beginning of every new year presents an abundance of possibilities. However, these opportunities do not have to result from a resolution. Perhaps we should change the phrasing from “new year resolution” to “Rejuvenation Goals” or something with a more positive connotation. Sadly, “new year’s resolutions” are infamously unfulfilled.

As the saying goes, “If it were easy, then everyone would be doing it.” Working towards the best version of yourself is never easy, but it is always worth it when you fulfill your purpose. Remember, your “perceived purpose” and “actual purpose” differ 99.9% of the time. Hence, it is rare for these two things to align. That does not mean you don’t know yourself; it just means the future is unpredictable, as is life. In those moments of unpredictability, we must remember that no matter the route you take, part of your life is already waiting for you. Find it and seize it.

Whether you’re trying to lose weight or learn something new, success depends upon the root of the goal. Why are you seeking this change? Are you trying to fit a certain beauty standard or live a healthier lifestyle? Are you on a timeline? Be careful of timelines. This is a HUGE reason why people quit. They don’t meet a goal by a specific time and deem themselves a failure even though they have several other factors influencing this. People also tend to underestimate the time and dedication it takes to meet a goal. What is the root of your goal(s)?

A Year In Review

At the end of last year, I talked the talk regarding mental health but felt I needed to do more. It is entirely different to walk the walk and advocate for a cause than simply saying you support it. In late 2021, I began a job that, in all honesty, did not require much critical thinking. It was (and still remains to be) a remote, entry-level position primarily consisting of administrative work. I took the role to get out of my previously stressful job and have more time to dedicate to school. After I began the job, I found I had too much idle time for my brain to wander. Thus, I started this website and blog. Initially, a podcast was associated with it, but I needed more time to devote to it. However, I plan to continue that in some fashion after I graduate. Stay tuned!

It feels cliché to say I learned a lot this year (especially around the new year), but I really did. I learned that taking care of your mental health and trying to help others can be challenging. I started strong with hopes of revolutionizing the mental health world. To be completely transparent, I feel disappointed. I feel disappointed that this did not go exactly how I wanted it. I had hoped to gain more traction to reach more people. It was never about fame or glory but helping someone who might be too afraid to ask for it.

Additionally, I learned that most people’s goals take more than one year. They say good things take time, and to assume a project of this magnitude would only take a year was naïve. It is discouraging to reflect and not meet your goal. However, we must consider it as adjusting the goalpost instead of failing to meet the goal altogether. We must change and adapt as we learn. More likely than not, it won’t go how we thought it would, which is OKAY.

Don’t worry. This is not a farewell letter, as I am NOT a quitter. I believe it when people tell me not to give up and to follow my heart. It does not mean it will become a trending phenomenon, but it could help someone. At the end of the day, that is what this is intended to do: help others. It is meant to show others that they are not alone and that we all struggle and have similar thoughts and feelings. It is a beautiful thing to feel understood and connected to others. It breaks down the silos and brings us closer together. We learn it is more to our advantage to express our feelings than to keep them inside.

What’s my resolution for 2023? To continue to build this project up to be more robust than before. So while I could be sad or disappointed by this venture, I choose to be grateful and optimistic. I am thankful for all the lessons 2022 has taught me, the people it has led me to, and most importantly, anyone who reads or follows (all 11 of you 😉 ) “A Sound Mind & Body.” As you reflect on 2022, I hope you, too, are grateful for the lessons learned instead of dwelling on shortcomings.

Happy New Year, folks! See you next year!

Holiday Scaries

While the holidays have many positives, it is essential to remember that not everyone is having a “holly, jolly” time. I can already hear the question coming from my aunt, “So when do you think you’ll have kids?” Gosh, Aunt Karen, can we get through the engagement and wedding before we have 10 kids?

Many people are anxious around the holidays for a multitude of reasons. Perhaps, your uncle received a subscription to the jelly of the month club instead of a holiday bonus or maybe one cousin just got out of a toxic relationship. While it is commonplace to ask about these topics, take a second to think about what and how you say things this year.

Remember that horrible breakup you went through in college or the job offer you didn’t get? Would you want to be repeatedly asked about it at your holiday party? Probably, not, so why would anyone else?

So what can you do to avoid this?

  1. Talk to other family members and friends and get a sense of what is happening in others’ lives.
  2. Check social media. Have they posted with their significant other in a while? If not, don’t ask about them. Simple as that.
  3. Religion. Politics. Just don’t. Stay away from topics that make others uncomfortable.
  4. Be understanding. Recognize that not everyone is in the best place.

If anything, give people the gift of grace this holiday season. Realize we are all works in progress. If you are unsure what to say to someone, there are some suggestions below to help get you started!

  • What’s going on in your life? What’s new? (Give someone the opportunity to tell you what they want to reveal about their lives as opposed to directly asking them about a specific topic.)
  • What’s the funniest thing you’ve read online recently?
  • What’s the most interesting movie/tv show/book you’ve invested time in this year?
  • What was your favorite song/album of the year?
  • Did you go on any fun trips this year, or are you planning to next year?
  • If you did not live where you live now, and you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to live?
  • What would it be if you could do any job in the world and pay was not a factor?
  • How are you? (How often do we take the time to ask one another how they are doing? Less often than we should.)

These questions are simple, and they’re not all super deep. However, sometimes it’s nice to have a light conversation with someone especially if they are struggling. The gift of laughter is sometimes the best thing you can provide. The extra effort to respect someone’s boundaries never goes under-appreciated and reminds us of each other’s value.

Whatever you do, pay attention to how those behave around you. If a person’s body language and voice inflection tell you they are uncomfortable, then they are most likely uncomfortable. Try not to be “the creepy Uncle Steve” and make a joke that you know people will find offensive. It’s funny how one, small word like respect can have such an enormous impact, don’t you think?

The Struggle of Being Human

When I first meet someone, I feel they do not like me. I am unsure what they think about me; I only know it feels negative. It may not be as much of a dislike as disapproval. Then I have to prove myself worthy, and that is exhausting. Sometimes I feel seen as a privileged, idiotic blonde who could not possibly understand the struggles others face. That may be true in some ways. Maybe I don’t understand the struggles others face because I have not been through them myself. However, I, too, have struggled. It may not be in the same way or to the same degree, but that does not mean I am oblivious. One of my favorite quotes is, “Just because I didn’t live through the same hand that was dealt to you doesn’t make me any less or make any more of you.” It puts everyone on an equal playing field which is a hard place for humanity to survive without one group thinking they are better or more worthy than another. No matter our religion, political affiliation, race, sex, ethnicity, or age, we are all human. We can all relate on: the struggle of being human.


Sometimes it can be different, and I feel seen as an outcast or undesirable. I was never the star athlete or star anything, for that matter. I struggled to find my identity while others found theirs effortlessly. In turn, this gave them self-confidence and worth. They could feel good about the fact that they were good at “X” things. It feels good to know your strengths and play to them. However, it can be hard to play to your strengths if do not know what they are. So what is a person to do? How does one identify their strengths? It can be uncomfortable to name the things you excel at, especially at first. In time, it becomes easier. However, there is a fine line between being aware of your strengths and being arrogant. Once you cross that line, there is danger, and it can be a slippery slope to return to a humble mindset.


As a kid, that thing you excel at increases your self-esteem, which is positive. You immediately think about the star athletes or artists. What if you are mediocre at many things? That is how I felt. It can feel like an identity crisis at such a young age. It is not easy to know where you want to go if you do not know who you are. However, this is where we must be careful not to let our abilities define us. Yes, they are part of who we are, but not the entire picture. It reminds me of the quote from Be The Nice Kid founder Bryan Skavnak, which says:

“Some kids are smarter than you,
Some kids have cooler clothes than you,
Some kids are better at sports than you.
It doesn’t matter.
You have your thing too.
Be the kid who can get along.
Be the kid who is generous.
Be the kid who is happy for other people.
Be the kid who does the right thing.
Be the nice kid.”

Bryan Skavnak, Be The Nice Kid

Why does that have to stop at childhood? I want to take that one step further and challenge you to replace the word “kid” with “human” and live out the quote. Be the human who can get along. Be the human who is generous. Be the human who is happy for other people. Be the human who does the right thing. Be the nice human.

Living out that quote allows us to give others and ourselves more grace and help us see the good in ourselves and each other. See and be “the good,” my friends; you won’t regret it.

Advocate For Yourself

I was the quiet girl in school. You know, the one off to the side observing everyone while silently pretending to read a book. I was terrified of embarrassing myself in front of my peers. I did not want to make a spectacle of myself or reveal any vulnerability. In my mind, it was better to be unseen than to be the subject of gossip or scrutiny. Perhaps, it kept some feelings at bay, but it ultimately limited my opportunities. When you advocate for yourself, it feels like a little piece of confidence is restored within you. In the past, there were times when I should have spoken up for myself but did not. As a result, the silence hindered me instead of helping me.


Admitting vulnerability is not a weakness; it is one of the strongest things a person can do. I know many will disagree with me, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Vulnerability is signaling to another person that you trust them. Having someone’s trust is a great honor. There must also be trust for there to be success. Staying silent only allows your feelings and thoughts to fester without a result, while speaking up sets you free. It gives you the key to unlock the next level for yourself. It is the truest form of “taking life into your own hands .” Anyone who has chosen to advocate will tell you that it does not always work out the way you planned, but it is always worth it. It certainly is not easy and takes much practice. .


I look at it like this. When you are at the store and cannot find a product, do you ask for help? If yes, you find the product and leave within ten minutes. If not, you spend 20 more minutes looking for the product only to ask an associate 20 minutes later. It may not always make this big of a difference, but you get the point. What about the next time someone hurts you with their words? Should you stand there and take it? Should you attack them verbally? Of course not. Instead, be honest and let them know why what they did hurt you. Help them understand why it was triggering for you, so they won’t make the same mistake again. You do not need to be rude about it; instead be kind and see the difference it makes.


I know that it is not human nature to be open and honest, but we have seen the benefits time and time again. So the next time someone speaks to you disrespectfully, tell them, “I am sorry for whatever happened to you to make you talk to me that way, but I do not deserve that.” What is the person going to say? “You’re a jerk?” I don’t think so. Often times you will hear, “People accept the love they think they deserve.” My response to that is to know your own worth. Know what you deserve and accept nothing less or short of the best.

A Thank You To Jonah Hill

Dear Jonah,

I have been a fan of yours for as long as I can remember. Your movies have given me so much laughter and joy when I have needed it the most. Thank you for sharing the gift of your humor with the world because everyone needs a good laugh now and then.

However, that’s not why I am writing to you today. I am writing because I watched your Netflix documentary, Stutz, and absolutely loved it. I can’t imagine the anxiety you had over the documentary’s release, but I cannot commend you and thank you enough for putting so much hard work into it and going through with it.

To say, “I loved getting to know Dr. Phil Stutz,” would be an understatement. I had known about him as a professional, but the film allowed us to get to know him on a human level. The concept of a patient flipping the script and interviewing the doctor is brilliant. At one point in the film, you mention,

“It’s important to know that the people we look up to aren’t exempt from all the problems that we ourselves have. You [Stutz] are still in the struggle and in the fight of being human.” 

One of the people you mentioned you look up to is Phil, and understandably so. It was fascinating to hear you come to that realization while speaking with someone you admire. As you told him, he laughed, and you asked if he was laughing because it was “absurd,” and he said “yes.” 

Such an interesting scene and take on perception. It’s being brave enough to be honest about your perception and then being open to it changing over time. Everyone can think of someone they look up to whom they feel is “untouchable.” The reality is everyone struggles; however, it is a matter of how we deal with it. 

My favorite scene (other than the final scene) was when you came forward with how you truly felt about the film to Stutz. You reveal you’ve been filming for years but have insecurities about it. You talk about being afraid of the film failing. Stutz said the following,

“Failure and vulnerability connects you to the rest of the world because you’re telling others, ‘I can’t do this by myself.” 

The mere fact that you admitted that you were struggling and uncertain was powerful and comforting. You let us see that you’re human too. That is the one thing we all can relate to no matter who we are. We are all human, and we are much more alike than we think.

I have been struggling lately with deciding what I want to do with my own life. It was comforting to know I’m not in the fight to accept uncertainty alone. You’ve given a true gift to people, and it’s incredible to witness. It is heartwarming to see people do something not just for themselves, but also for the greater good. I hope you know that you’re changing the world for the better. 

Anyway, I wanted to thank you for releasing the documentary because it meant a lot to me, and I can guarantee that it meant something to many others as well. However, I believe even if your film had only changed one life, it would have still been worth making. That’s one life changes for the better.

Thank you for helping break down the mental health stigma in such a beautiful way. Don’t let the critics get you down. You did a great thing for the mental health community, and no critic can discredit that. I can’t wait to see what you do next!

Best Wishes, 

Ellie

My Mind & Me: A Mental Health Film Review

Typically, I am not impressed by Hollywood’s entitlement and need to tell us how to think. I get frustrated by the thought process, “Do as I say, not as I do.” How often have we seen a documentary about someone struggling with mental health only for them to continue doing what they know begets their triggers? Too often. If I could only use one word to describe Selena Gomez’s new documentary, My Mind & Me (now streaming on AppleTV+), it would be: refreshing. For the first time, we see the human inside the shell the world created called “Selena Gomez”. In fact, the film opens with Selena narrating a diary entry of hers. She reads the following:

“December 19. I have to stop living like this. Why have I become so far from the light? Everything I ever wished for, I’ve had and done all of it, but it has killed me because there’s always ‘Selena’.”

Her audience gets to see she is someone like you or me, just with a pretty awesome career to supplement! However, as she states, it has all come at a price: her health. A lupus diagnosis, kidney transplant, and bipolar diagnosis, and she is still standing. She says it killed her. The cost of fame and a public career is limited privacy. Only our little world knows when you or I go through a traumatic event. Can you imagine going through a traumatic event in front of the entire world? I really can’t. To see such raw, genuine footage of a highly publicized figure is rare. It is ironic since that is the title of Selena’s most recent album (released in 2020), and beauty company, Rare Beauty. Rare Beauty champions the Rare Impact Fund which has set the goal of raising $100M over the next ten years to help give access to mental health services. AMAZING, right? You can find out more about the fund here. Needless to say, Selena is most certainly rare, and thank God she is.

In the film, Selena is asked, “What’s holding you back?” She replies, “That I’m not good enough. That’s something that I felt a lot of growing up.” Wow. Me too. That exemplifies my point. She feels the same way we all do. It helps to connect with someone you would never have guessed you had so much in common with.

In the documentary’s official trailer, Selena narrates the following:

“Just be who you are Selena. No one cares what you’re doing. It’s about who I am. Being okay with where I am. I am grateful to be alive. Let me make a promise. I am going to stop living like this. How do I learn to breathe my own breath again?”

Once I heard that, I was hooked. It felt like she took the words right out of my mouth, which was comforting. Not because I wanted to hear all the bad that had happened to Selena Gomez. It was comforting because I could relate to her pain. I am incredibly thankful to have such a public advocate fighting to end the mental health stigma. Selena does not just talk the talk; she also walks the walk. She lives her truth. 

The film opens on her Revival Tour and takes the viewer through Selena’s life from 2016 to the present day (or at least close). She pledged to film with nothing off limits and did so for many years. As much of a mental health advocate as I am, I am unsure I could do that. My anxiety would set in. “What would others think?” However, I only have a world that extends so far; Selena is known globally. That is a HUGE difference, and anyone who undermines that is simply wrong. Selena even said in her interview on Jay Shetty’s podcast, On Purpose, (a MUST listen):

“…Maybe I shouldn’t do this, maybe I shouldn’t release it [the documentary]. And this is too honest; this is too much of myself. Until I realized that, ultimately, it was meant for something bigger. It wasn’t just about me; it was about other people. And it took a life of its own and became what it is now, which I’m still nervous about, I’m still anxious about. But I think releasing it is a huge healing process for me. And it’s me letting go of that version of myself…”

Thankfully, she chose to release the documentary. Will there be critics? Of course. As much as we wish we could shield her and the creators from it, they all know it comes with the territory. She willingly chose to release it, knowing she would face critics, courageous to say the least. However, what may have been enough to stop most of us, did not stop her. She saw the bigger picture of how this could impact the world for the better. They say not one person can change the world as a whole. Maybe that is true; however, one person can change others’ hearts by sharing their experiences and perceptions. In turn, that changes the world one heart at a time. We are not usually this lucky to see the good and bad. The reality. The truth. That is a gift we must thank Selena for.

Selena undeniably has sacrificed herself to take up the mantle and be the face of mental health awareness. Although I am not in her position, I can’t imagine that being easy. However, I, along with so many, applaud her and sincerely thank her. Instead of telling us “it is okay to not be okay”, she showed us. She showed us that we are not the only ones who have bad days. We are not the only ones who struggle to get out of bed or leave the house. She showed us that no amount of fame, influence, or money can beget happiness. It must come from within. I love that in her podcast interview with Jay Shetty, Selena stated:

“… it’s a choice sometimes, but then I also hate when people say that because sometimes I genuinely wake up in a depressive state and I can’t get out of bed, but I allow myself to have that day and focus on things that can make me feel better instead of pushing it away…”

I can certainly relate to that statement, and I know I am not the only one. I have also been frustrated by the phrase, “Happiness is a choice.” While I know much of it is true, we cannot forget about the biological component of mental health either. It is a delicate balance of nurture and nature. I also love that she acknowledged that she “allows herself to have that day”. We all need to be a little kinder to ourselves and give ourselves time and space to heal. I think that is an extremely important point that gets often overlooked.

One of the most relatable statements Selena makes in the documentary is as follows:

“There’s a voice that comes in my head saying, ‘You miss this. That sucked. Oh, you get a glimpse of yourself on the screen — wow, that looks pretty f–in’ s–ty,” she says. “It just sucks the life out of me, and I don’t want to perform. The pressure is just overwhelming because I want to do the best I can and I am not…” 

Who is your biggest critic? Most often, you are. We are the ones who are genuinely the cruelest to ourselves. We know our own deepest insecurities. We can then exploit them because we know they will strike a chord. Ever heard of being your own worst enemy? That applies here. However, let me be clear it is not because we want to feel this way or want others to pity us. No. In fact, we cannot always control this. So, please give one another some grace; people are trying their best just like you.

 In the interview with Jay Shetty, he mentioned, 

“… you’re one of these people that you serve to heal, and you give to let go. And that’s such a beautiful cycle because I think often we think when we are going through things that the more insular we go…”

Rare, again, we arrive at this word. It is rare to find someone who can identify that their healing is attained through service. More people need to venture outside their comfort zone to explore service as an option to heal. Selena is doing the right thing, which deserves to be celebrated no matter who you are or where you come from. She deserves numerous accolades for her work in the mental health community. She has done so much it’s hard to mention it all, but here are a few more:

1. Selena, her mother Mandy, and Daniella Pierson have started Wondermind, a mental health fitness website. Wondermind states:

“Mental fitness means working on your mental health—whatever that looks like to you. It takes more than an inspirational quote to really change your mindset. But showing up for your mental health shouldn’t be expensive, inaccessible, or time consuming. Even if you’re lucky enough to see a therapist, making time for your mind in between sessions can go a long way. That’s what we’re here for—to give you easy, doable ways to put your mental fitness first every day.”

You can learn more about Wondermind here.

2. Did you know she was working with the United States government to form a Mental Health curriculum? You can learn more about her work here!

3. As seen in the documentary, she also raised money with the We Charity to start not one but two schools for girls on Africa. Learn more about her work here.

Amazing would be an understatement. This woman has dedicated herself to a cause that has profoundly affected and shaped her. In her song she sings, “If somebody sees me like this then they won’t feel alone now.” Thank you to Selena for letting us know we aren’t alone. If you want to watch a refreshing documentary, I highly recommend My Mind & Me, now streaming on Apple TV+.

Citations

Keshishian, A. AppleTV+. (2022). Selena Gomez My Mind & Me. United States. https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/selena-gomez-my-mind–me/umc.cmc.39yw4dp13gshxq5bt9fsl0o5y

Shetty, J. (2022, November 7). SELENA GOMEZ ON: BEFRIENDING YOUR INNER-CRITIC & HOW TO SPEAK TO YOURSELF WITH MORE COMPASSION PODCAST. On Purpose with Jay Shetty. other. Retrieved November 10, 2022, from https://jayshetty.me/podcast/selena-gomez-on-befriending-your-inner-critic-and-how-to-speak-to-yourself-with-more-compassion/.

Vogue Taiwan. (2021). File:Selena Gomez in 2021.jpg. Wikimedia Commons. photograph, Taiwan; Vogue Taiwan. Retrieved November 10, 2022, from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Selena_Gomez_in_2021.jpg.

A Mutual Forgiveness

I hate to break it to you, but you are not that important. I don’t mean to be rude, but more realistic in the grand scheme of life. It never ceases to amaze me how people treat one another. I understand that in everyone’s world, they are the “star.” Sometimes as humans, we forget that just because we are the center of our world does NOT mean we are the center of others’ worlds.

I don’t mean it wrongly like you’re insignificant to the world because, of course, that is not true. However, we are not as big a deal to others as we think. People don’t notice every detail that we notice about ourselves. It is awesome you put effort into your outfit, but the only one who will truly appreciate it is you. You should do these acts of self-love for yourself; I just ask you to remember the intent behind it. These things make us feel good about ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Humans are programmed to think about our situations but not challenged to think beyond. This lack of challenge can result in others being too self-absorbed, where they react if someone threatens their little bubble. We must remember that nine times out of ten, that person made an honest mistake for various reasons you do not know. It was not personal.

Think about when you go out to a restaurant. Perhaps it is a busy night. You wait about ten minutes to be seated and another fifteen for your drink order. One comes back wrong. Before going off on the waitress or waiter, did you stop to notice that she is the only person covering not only his/her/their section but two others?

I know it is so frustrating to get an order wrong. “How hard is it to serve a soda?” Singularly serving a soda is not complicated, but multiply that by 100. Now you have 100 drink orders expected to be delivered accurately and quickly.

Next time the waitress or waiter gets something wrong, before immediately yelling, stop to put yourself in that person’s shoes. What if it was you or a loved one? How would you want someone to react? Do that. The fact is, someone made an honest mistake; do they deserve to be ridiculed for it? No. They do not. Instead, give them some grace.

My point is about more than just the food industry. Situations like these can happen in many instances. The truth is we are all human. We are all going to make mistakes. However, we have to be more forgiving of our counterparts. We know that mistakes are part of the learning process. Most people are not out to get you. Not to say life is all butterflies and rainbows. There is evil in our world today; I can’t deny that. However, pointing fingers at others has never been a solution that worked.

It would be nice to see humanity get it right for a change. We are all imperfect beings trying our best to make it through another day. We know our intentions, and most of the time, our mistakes are accidental and not intended to hurt others. Humans are the best at effing things up. However, we are better at building things back up together. We are better off trying to understand than proving someone wrong. We are better when we listen instead of speaking. We are better when we work in harmony together. We are better together.